Please Help Me, Before I Slip. I Feel God Is Disappointed In Me.

Agwuma Kingsley
3 min readJul 4, 2021
Bart Simpson — sad moments [Image credits] WallpaperDog

Good morning. Happy Sunday to you as well. I woke up with my PC by the side while on the bed, and I stood up, boot my PC, and decided to write you something. I have been lonely these few days, sometimes I feel so bored, I take rounds of naps, and wake soundly still under the pap of boredom. I’m being sincere to you and myself because it is the only cause I have to be all right. Thoughts in my head beating me up every day, I keep my cool and only have visions in my head I want to catch up with, and when I make mistakes and fall by the wayside into the temptations of lust with women, I cry inside, after making that love affair. I keep telling myself I would stop this but I think this time I should tell you to because it isn’t working. I see myself as a source to inspire other’s development, but the mistakes I’m making as I said are beating and slowly hunting me.

I write this letter to express how I feel so lost, yesterday, I had another affair, first I feel loved but after which it turns like an arrow to hunt my life even after asking for mercy from God. Now I feel like one who’s drowning despite the good I usually engage myself [heart] in yet, I feel so lost in the abyss, but not when I fully relax to write about the stories of what I love the most, I get so joyous in between. Yes. I love listening to music, critiquing art with an unbiased point of view which I love to share with the world.

I love to write and hope to become a bestselling author in the world someday as I also hang onto my hope of becoming a columnist on the biggest culture platforms in the world, as well as running a public relations and consultancy company to assist brands to become the best version on the long term of their true self-realization. This is a long dream I’ve begun to share with you, and it how I feel nonetheless, looking for the physical one that’d love to appreciate me for who I’m. Accepting the faults I have and believe in everything I’m holding onto.

I lost my mom a couple of years ago, she has been the one who’s always accepted me the way I’m and now I need someone to assist me from feeling lost and depressed sometimes at this point of my life. I tell my mom my secrets. She knows me better than anyone if not for God that created me. I’m just 23, and what I think in my head to bring my reality is engulfing me, with several habits I keep that I see how destructive it is in front of me, how destructive they’re to me but I keep chasing at them and get lost the more. I believe in God, and I believe in his visions for my life but to this end, I have to be more realistic and tell the truth to myself about the mistakes I’m making right now. I write this letter to be open enough because I have no one but God, I feel like I’ve disappointed him but I know he has another chance for my life to keep being purposeful, as he assisted me in the conclusion of my debut book to release in two weeks’ time. Help me, I feel lost from my purpose after having to taste s3x in every moment of my life. Please help me. I have no one close to share this pain with, I’m lonely and always have to keep in communication with God, and now I feel how disappointed he is to me. Help me!

Agwuma Kingsley,

The Creator Of The Thoughts.



Agwuma Kingsley

I’m a creative writer, online publisher, contributor and PR Consultant.